Presence

It is not an easy task to stay present. Sometimes our little minds just spin out of control. There is so much pressure we all face. We all have pressure.
I am currently spinning because I have been working on a project for a while and I wonder if I'm ever going to finish it or be able to feel proud of it? Why haven't I called or been in touch? Because every spare minute that I have I'm working on a long grueling task and I can only be alone in this process. So I'm sorry I have been anti-social.
Do we not always beat ourselves up?
Yes, I think we do. There is always a dragon we are chasing. A better way -but at the same time
we all know, "It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn" (Florence) Why is it when life is excelling in one area of our lives we suddenly lose the grasp in other areas of our lives? Accepting the present moment and remaining grounded and having gratitude in what is right before us at this present moment helps. How can I make the best out of this present moment. (question mark)
All we really want is to Be.
I know, as a writer, I was always not happy if I wasn't writing. But if I am writing, I actually feel guilty because it looks like I am not being productive. Where is my "zero fucks" attitude? Gotta have a thick skin in this world-but you also have to be nice. I love writing stories and truths. I have shit to share. Things to say. Memes to write. A life to be proud of. I have a place in this place.  Most people believe the busier your body is, the more productive you are. Talk about a tug-of-war.... Because sometimes you need to stop sit down and take a look around and say to yourself. Is this what I really want? What do I really want in this life of MINE?
Lately (like for almost two years) I have been working on a manuscript for a book and that pretty much requires me to have the discipline of being ok with myself for sitting and being quiet and working in solitude and working part time at night and trying to be a good mom to a 15-year-old young lady who basically thinks I'm slacking. And I am pretty much at my whits end from it because my manuscript is actually really important to me. I have actually got some serious material here. But, I haven't really been writing- You see it's pretty much been done for about eight months. For eight months I have been editing and cutting and chopping and adding. Trying to keep inspired about what I'm working on and knowing there is a reason behind my madness.
So to lighten my load, to open up a bit, I have decided to challenge myself and write one blog a day for the next month. One lesson a day. Whatever or wherever I get a bit of inspiration, everyday for the next month (at least) I will put it on this blog- My Capricorn Woman little page.  Today, September 20th, 2018 I, Maria Karampelas am not going to sit on all my thoughts and think about it a bit more.  I'm going to visit an old friend, go to the gym, live in the moment, live simply, enjoy this life- find that balance. Even though I have come a long way- I now have to raise that bar again, though. I can feel it. You know when the universe sort of halts and it seems as though things are slowing down? That's when you pay attention and while staying ever present you rise above as well. Get out of the comfort zone.
I know my blog or my blogging is not perfect- but everyone has a flaw or two. Let's be proud of them.
Here goes my one month of stepping out of my comfort level on a daily basis.
So today I start getting opinions from friends about my book. That's exciting because it's a next step. It puts me out of my comfort zone for sure. I'm asking friends to give me an honest answer. Anyway, here goes nothing. I love this universe :)
I'm also going to go to the gym with my boyfriend. That always freaks me out because I usually go alone and he is soooo gorgeous that I feel like everyone will be looking at us. And we make a really do make a good couple. So,What the heck is wrong with that? Where are my zero fucks? Where is my presence and gratitude? I am grateful for this time. 
I should be proud of that too. Sometimes it's just the little steps that can make a big difference.
So here goes my day and I hope you all have a good one too.
Love Maria
Capricorn Woman Warrior Princess